I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
