remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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