If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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