I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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