how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
