She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize