Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
someone threw a dead crab at me
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize