Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i used baking grease as lip gloss
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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