I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
