i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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