Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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