Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
