Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
