oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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