i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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