I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Drunk is not a location!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
