I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
