How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
