We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
