Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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