At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
