I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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