My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
