I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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