i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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