Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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