Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
