yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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