I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
