and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
