Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
