well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
