Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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