Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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