she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize
