bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
