I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
