The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
