Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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