I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
