How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
