just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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