apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
