im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
