went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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