what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
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