VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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