Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
