i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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