Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It's rum buckets o'clock
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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