just tell him i said nine months
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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