Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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