I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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