whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
