I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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