IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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