1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
last night I used snow as a chaser
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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