she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
