I think I died a long time ago.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
