i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
