I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
