I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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