Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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