I didn't shave. On purpose
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
