Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
