apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
